1 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:14,360 [whispers] 34% was always enough. 2 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:17,680 Mr McCann, I've got a proposal. 3 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,720 - [Vinnie] The bank gave you a loan. - Yes. 4 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,720 I hope you're not telling me any porkies. 5 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,920 [softly] I always think about what you whispered. 6 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:26,480 [Tuma] The safe is no longer here. 7 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,840 - Terence... - You're done. 8 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,000 He wouldn't do anything to Tyler, would he? 9 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:31,880 [sobbing] Nothing is happening to that boy. 10 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,080 - Where is Tyler? - He's gone. I lost him. 11 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,680 - Tyler? - I'll get him back. 12 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,800 [tense music playing] 13 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,800 [Erin reading] "My darling Vinnie." 14 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,400 "I'm scared, so I have to go." 15 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:49,520 "I will miss you forever." 16 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,480 "And I hope you can forgive me." 17 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:58,840 [car horn blaring in distance] 18 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,480 ["Everything I Am Is Yours" playing] 19 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,560 ♪ I am just a man ♪ 20 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,320 ♪ Tipping on the wire ♪ 21 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:27,600 ♪ Tightrope walking fool ♪ 22 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:31,040 ♪ Balanced on desire ♪ 23 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,680 ♪ I cannot control… ♪ 24 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,240 [phone rings] 25 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:40,720 ♪ These ever-changing ways ♪ 26 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,680 ♪ So how can I be sure ♪ 27 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:48,480 ♪ The feeling will remain? ♪ 28 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:54,440 ♪ It'll always change ♪ 29 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,280 ♪ But everything I am ♪ 30 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:02,880 ♪ Is yours ♪ 31 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,000 - [horn blares, tyres screech] - Oh, fuck me! 32 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,320 Careful, dickhead! 'Ey up! Vinnie? 33 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,480 [laughs loudly] Come here, Ringo. Good to see you. 34 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,360 You stink of patchouli oil, man. It's overwhelming. 35 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,080 I nearly fucking killed you there. 36 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,320 Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm fucking miles away at the minute. 37 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,120 Well, I'm glad I nearly killed you there, 38 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,040 'cause me and the band have got a gig tonight. 39 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:23,360 - Brilliant. - 'Cause, er, 40 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:25,640 you'll never guess who's getting married again? 41 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,720 - Yeah? Go on? - Well, guess. 42 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,880 - I don't… know. - No, guess, man. 43 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:33,080 - Fuck me… Pete the eunuch? - No, it's me, you daft twat. 44 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:34,440 Hey! Fantastic! 45 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,920 And you'll never guess who I'm getting married to. 46 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:38,680 - I don't... - It's Babs. 47 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:42,560 Babs? Fucking Babs… is who you're getting married to. 48 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,680 But you got married and you got divorced. 49 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,640 And now we're getting married again. 50 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,440 The prawn cocktail thing nearly tore you a new arsehole, didn't it? 51 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,000 You were really upset. 52 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,200 Well, the thing is I put that behind us, Vin. 53 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:55,520 You know, forgive and forget. 54 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,160 She's a good girl and it's for keeps. 55 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:00,120 Good, man. That's fucking fantastic. I'm made up for you. 56 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,200 - Listen, I'll see you tonight, then? - Grand. 57 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,360 - Eight o'clock, Crow's Nest. - It's a fucking date. 58 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:05,640 - 'Ere, bring Erin. - Oh… 59 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:06,960 All right, cheerio, dickhead. 60 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,280 - Yeah. - [engine starts] 61 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,920 Go on, get out of it, you big cunt. 62 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,880 [horn blares, tyres screech] 63 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,840 - Fucking hell! - Bellend. What ya doing? 64 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:18,800 Sorry. Fuck me, sorry. Miles away. 65 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,440 ♪ The best things in life are free ♪ 66 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,000 ♪ But you can give them To the birds and bees ♪ 67 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,600 ♪ I need money… ♪ 68 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:28,800 I just wanna know where she is, know what I mean? 69 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,800 Yeah. Well, she says she doesn't want finding. 70 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:34,760 Yeah, I know. But she's fucked off with my little lad, Cardi, 71 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,200 and I'm fucking… My heart's breaking. 72 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:38,880 She's scared about McCann. 73 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,800 Yeah, but fucking hell. He's not gonna be around much longer, is he? 74 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,880 He's getting sent down, hopefully. He'll be gone out of our lives forever. 75 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,360 Just need to see her… 76 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,680 so I can talk to her properly. 77 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,080 [dogs barking] 78 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,040 - [clears throat] - I don't like seeing you sad, man. 79 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,560 - Do you wanna throw the ball? - Oh shit, yeah. [chuckles] 80 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,280 - [man grunts] - Oh, fuck me. Dude, shit. 81 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,320 - Hey! - You fucking idiots! 82 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:09,440 Idiots! 83 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,080 He's fuck… He's… he's run off. 84 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:13,520 [cheering] 85 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:17,480 We are Tonguesten and we came here to rock your bloody tits off! 86 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,160 - [rock music blasting] - [off-key yelling] 87 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,360 [Babs] I fucking love you! 88 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:26,640 [screaming] 89 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,840 That is shit, innit? That to me, 90 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,800 is the dying screams of a murder victim. 91 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,280 Ted Bundy, the musical. 92 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,960 I'd fucking watch that. 93 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:36,280 That name, Tonguesten, yeah? 94 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,120 I assume it's a play on the word "tungsten," 95 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,680 but it's not even a heavy metal. It'll shatter on impact. 96 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,560 - [glass smashes] - Know what, yeah? 97 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,360 They should have called it something like… 98 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,320 - Titanium. - [sarcastic laugh] Shut up! 99 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,480 - Have you… have you heard from her? - No! Fuck no! 100 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:53,840 No. Got a few WhatsApp videos from Tyler, that's it. 101 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,400 - Have you heard anything? - Nah. 102 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,440 [speaker feedback] 103 00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:00,240 - Hiya, boys! - Eh, boys? 104 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:03,080 Oh, Sugar, you're always seeking attention. 105 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:04,280 You all right, Babs? 106 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,960 What's going on with that little diabetes shoe you've got there? 107 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,160 [sighs] Ketamine and roller skating do not mix. 108 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,560 - Well, you look very well. - Aw, this is the glow of true love. 109 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,840 I think it's great that you're trying again. 110 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:19,600 There's not many couples could get over that prawn cocktail incident. 111 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:23,040 It was shrimp. And it was a misunderstanding. 112 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,560 So, Barbara, when's the big day? Are we all invited, then? 113 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,480 This Saturday, in Merthyr Tydfil, where my parents are. 114 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,840 You are all more than welcome. 115 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,000 Tonguesten are playing! 116 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:36,040 Oh, well, in that case, abso-fucking-lutely not! 117 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,160 Thank you very much. 118 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,640 [line ringing] 119 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:42,600 [grunts] 120 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,840 Hi, it's Erin. Leave a message after the beep. 121 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:46,520 - Bye. - [beep] 122 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:52,000 Look, it's me again, for the fifteen-hundredth fucking time. 123 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,960 I know you're getting these messages, Erin… 124 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,920 and I just wish I knew where you were. 125 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,400 I only want to help you out, ya know? 126 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:04,760 [rapid knocking] 127 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,360 Fucking hell's teeth! 128 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,040 Oh, course, why wouldn't it be. 129 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,000 Fuck are you doing in't middle of woods? 130 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,400 Oh, this is nice and cosy, Vin. 131 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,280 Yeah. What do you want? 132 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,600 I gave my friends the slip to come and find you. 133 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,200 - Right, then. - Because, Vinnie, 134 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,840 there's one thing I need from you before I get wed. 135 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,280 - Go on, then. - I need you to make love to me. 136 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,960 Pfft! Gross! Taking the piss. 137 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,160 You do fancy me, don't you? 138 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:31,480 - No! - Well, that's not true. 139 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,080 That's not the issue, though, is it? 140 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,880 You're getting married this weekend to bloody Ringo, you knobhead. 141 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:36,960 Yeah, exactly. 142 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,120 I'm committing myself to him for the rest of my life. 143 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,880 But before I get hitched, I just need one last one, 144 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,760 and I'm choosing you, Vinnie. 145 00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:46,800 Now, you, just… 146 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,480 away over there. 147 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:50,800 [chuckling] Er, no. 148 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,720 Oh, come on. We're here now. I'll just take my clothes off. 149 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:55,400 Jesus Christ! What is wrong with you? 150 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,960 Wading through the woods like a sexual tyrannosaur. 151 00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,520 You doing like that… Er, no! 152 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,720 You're terrifying tonight. What's the matter with you? 153 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,960 Come on. Nobody'd know. 154 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:06,120 I will know, won't I? I'll know. It'll never leave me. 155 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,440 I'm very sad and I'm very depressed, 156 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,600 and fuck me, dude, I miss my fucking boy. 157 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,600 And even if I wanted to shag ya… 158 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,320 [softly] my todger doesn't really work. 159 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,320 - What if I showed you my boob trick? - Go on, then. 160 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,000 - Together. - Hmm. 161 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,840 Single. Individual. Together. 162 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,880 - Single. - It's amazing. Do you want a brew? 163 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:32,120 - No, do you wanna finger me? - No! How many sugars do you want? 164 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,320 - Er, three, please. - [cooker ignition clicks] 165 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,400 [Tyler] Hi, Daddy. 166 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,480 Mummy and me are having a great time on our trip, 167 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:42,520 but, look, I broke my arm, and it doesn't even hurt. 168 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,800 And… I've drawn you too, 169 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,040 but Mum says it's got too much hair. 170 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:49,400 Love you, Daddy. 171 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,200 - [chuckles] Hmm. He's cute. - [soft music plays on stereo] 172 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,960 I never knew that you and Erin… uh-uh. 173 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,720 Hmm, yeah, many moons ago. 174 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,440 - We were wrecked. - [chuckles] 175 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,800 Ended up coming away with this little horror. [laughs] 176 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,440 - You must miss him like crazy. - I do, yeah. 177 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,480 Feels like someone's ripped my bloody arm off. 178 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,480 - And you've no idea where they are? - No. 179 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:14,280 No, I mean, fucking hell, they could be anywhere. [sniffs] 180 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,480 It's a shame you don't know a doctor. They could tell you. 181 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,400 What do you mean? 182 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,680 Well, if Tyler's broken his arm, means he's been to hospital. 183 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,960 So it'll be on his medical records, name of the hospital, temporary address. 184 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,680 But that's all confidential. 185 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,440 You'd have to know a doctor really well to get that kind of info. 186 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:35,880 Fucking… 187 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,240 It's terrifying how you just put all that together. 188 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,400 You're a fucking genius, Babs. 189 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,159 Shit, dude, I could lay you right now. 190 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,640 - There's always time for that, love. - Absolutely not! 191 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,880 - [knocking] - Chri… 192 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,320 Christopher, it's fucking Vincent. 193 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,520 Jesus Christ. Oh! 194 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,560 - Hello. - Hiya, is Christopher in? 195 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:58,400 He says to tell you that he's busy. 196 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,920 Right, you just go in there, and you tell that posh, fat-headed turd 197 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:05,760 to bring his bony arse to come down to this porch, on the immediate. 198 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,880 Or I'll cut his fucking weed supply off. 199 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,120 He does have a lovely arse. 200 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,360 He also has a fat head. 201 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:14,160 Vinnie, what do you want? 202 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,280 Hi, I'm Chris. 203 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,240 - I'm Barbara. - Nice outfit. 204 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,400 It's my hen do. 205 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,120 - What's going on? - Why you here? 206 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,000 Did you not… Have you got changed? 207 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,080 - No. - Eh? 208 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,160 Different person. Twins. 209 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,400 God sake! Why can't people just cuddle? 210 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,600 I need a favour. It's deeply unethical, 211 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:35,320 and Babs is caning for a shit. 212 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,920 Come on, dude. It's cold. 213 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,920 - Come on, quick. - [woman giggles] 214 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:41,840 [loud laughter] 215 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,480 So, there we were in the dark, hammer and tongs going at it. 216 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,800 The light came on. It was her bloody dad! 217 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,720 - Can you believe it? - [keyboard clacks] 218 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,560 Dude, these threesomes… Is there not like a moment 219 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,160 where you're like, pfft, it's all a bit much? 220 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:55,440 You've never had a threesome? 221 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:58,920 No, I've never had a fucking three… Never even had a twosome, barely. 222 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,240 They're phenomenal, Vinnie. 223 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:04,240 Got Amelia over there stroking your head with long, manicured fingers. 224 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,960 Meanwhile, Jemima, downstairs, taking care of business. 225 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,040 Gross. 226 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:12,320 Listen, if I give you any advice, medical advice, as your doctor, 227 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,200 don't die before you've had a threesome. 228 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,960 - [keyboard clacking] - Here we are. 229 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:18,760 Tyler Croft. Three… Er, confidentiality. 230 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,840 Hospital admission, 3-6-2013. 231 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:25,600 Bronglais General Hospital, Caradog Road, Aberystwyth. 232 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:27,800 - That's Wal… That's Wales, innit? - Yeah. 233 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,840 - Is there an address? - Care of address. 234 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,800 - Give us that. What does it say? - [groans] 235 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,840 Gell-dilly-ywll caravan park in Grad-clan… 236 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:38,680 I mean, it's just letters tossed together, Welsh, isn't it? 237 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,520 Christ, she's in a fucking trailer park in Wales. 238 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,960 It says, "care of address until the end of the month". 239 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,560 Shit. Well, that's this fucking weekend. 240 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,160 She'll be on her way back, maybe. 241 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:49,640 Or moving on. 242 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,000 Shit. Babs? 243 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,080 Yeah? 244 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:56,680 How far's M-Martha Tydville from Aberys... 245 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,840 - Aberystwyth? - Yeah. 246 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,880 Oh, I don't know, love. 60 miles? 247 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,680 That's not so bad. Can I still come to your wedding, please? 248 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,480 Oh, course you can, love. 249 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:08,080 Hey, ask your friend if I can stay the night. 250 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,440 - Course you can. - [excited chuckle] 251 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,440 - Never had a foursome. - It'll be horrible. 252 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:16,640 Chinny, chin-chin. Chinny, chin-chin. Up the bum, no harm done. 253 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,640 - [women laughing] - [both men chuckle] 254 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:22,440 ["Touch Sensitive" playing] 255 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:26,560 [van horn blaring] 256 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:30,640 Ho, ho, ho! Bonjour, mesdames et messieurs. 257 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,400 Comment allez-vous? 258 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,200 What the fuck's all this, dude? 259 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,360 This, my luscious lads, is my latest business venture. 260 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,640 A reflective truck? 261 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:42,440 Yes, Dylan, very observant. Reflective truck from the outside. 262 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,640 - But from the inside… - [gasps and laughter] 263 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,200 - …observez-vous. - [Vinnie] Absolutely wonderful. 264 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:49,520 The whole thing's all two-way glass. 265 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,480 It's one-way glass, in't it, Ashley? 266 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,880 'Cause two-way glass, that's just normal glass. 267 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,240 - Think about it. - Oh, one-way glass, whoa! 268 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,520 - Right, you and you. On the bed. - Why? 269 00:11:58,600 --> 00:11:59,720 Demonstration time. 270 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:04,440 Now the world, as I see it, right, is full of exhibitionists, all right? 271 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,040 Let's pretend, for a moment, that our lovely young couple here 272 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,120 - are, in fact, fornicating. Go on. - Oh, fuck off. 273 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,520 - Ashley, take it away. - [grunts] 274 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,320 Now, meanwhile, I'll be up front. 275 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,360 I'll be driving us round, past shops, past cafes, 276 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:16,480 maybe past a cop car. 277 00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:19,000 And in the back, although they know it's an illusion, 278 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:22,640 it will seem to them, for all the world, as if they are fucking in public. 279 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,960 [chuckles] I have struck gold with this one, I'm telling ya. 280 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:27,200 I can feel it in my piss. 281 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,400 - Ashley, give over, man, will ya? - Hey! Get that off! 282 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:31,520 You're confusing him. 283 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:32,800 - Fucking £16.99. - Ah! 284 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,600 - [Tommo] Jesus Christ. - Be that as it may, 285 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:35,840 I am fucking impressed. 286 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,960 It's cool. But, I mean… 287 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,760 Today it's gonna have to just be a shit van, innit? 288 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:45,080 - Driving to mid-Wales. - That's not really the point of it. 289 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,280 Listen, the rest of you lot, 290 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,000 you better have kept schtum about this fucking Erin mission. 291 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,680 'Cause if she finds out that I'm on me way... 292 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,280 Well, she could fucking bolt, here. 293 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:57,320 So, let's all see them zips. Zip gesture. 294 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,000 Dude, zip gesture. Do the thing. 295 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,560 - Why would I do that? - Why wouldn't you do the zip gesture? 296 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,480 - I'm not a child. - You hiding something? You are. 297 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,080 - I'm not hiding something. - Do it! 298 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,000 You're pathetic. 299 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,240 - [all shouting] - Do it! Zip gesture, JJ! 300 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,520 - All right, sound. - [muffled grunts] 301 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,560 Unzip for it, you fucking melon. 302 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,440 There's only one slight problem, right. 303 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:17,560 Erm, my wife, Carol… 304 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:21,520 She wants to come and I couldn't think of a reason why she couldn't. 305 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:27,440 Dude, I gave you the fucking reason. It is a boys-only road trip. 306 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,080 - [knocking] - [Babs] Hiya, boys. 307 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,840 Oh, sick, Babs is here. Get out of t'way. 308 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:32,920 Why's she coming? 309 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,320 - 'Ey up, Babs, come here. - What else? 310 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,240 Have you brought your mum, have ya? 311 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,880 ["Can I Get A Witness?" playing] 312 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,240 [Babs chuckling] 313 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,600 ♪ Ah, listen, everybody ♪ 314 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,560 ♪ Especially you girls ♪ 315 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:51,440 ♪ Is it right to be left alone While the one you love… ♪ 316 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:53,040 [groaning] 317 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,360 [Dylan] This is absolute fucking madness. 318 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,880 You gonna pick up a hitchhiker now, so she can get laid? 319 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,880 What am I gonna do? What am I… 320 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,960 I mean, she wants to get laid one more time before she gets hitched. 321 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,440 - She wants to frolic, man. - So what happened with Dr Chris? 322 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,760 Well… 323 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:12,520 She said it was weird. 324 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,760 Actually… Actually, what she said was… 325 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,640 I liked the idea, but the reality, there were too many elbows. 326 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:18,640 Hmm. 327 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,080 Why's she even marrying him if she's still acting like this? 328 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:24,040 Dyldo, honestly, I'm as happy about it as you are, bud, 329 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:27,400 but she's helped me find Erin, so that's what I'm gonna fucking do. 330 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,400 - Poor Ringo. - I know. She's an animal, dude. 331 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,880 So you still haven't found the right woman, Tommo, or man? 332 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:35,960 You know me, Barbara. 333 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,800 - I'm a cowboy, on a silver horse I ride. - [laughs] 334 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,520 What the fuck does that mean? No, you should settle down, love. 335 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,920 Trust me. I mean, look at them two. 336 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,120 [chuckles] Who the hell put them two together, huh? 337 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,720 - Opposites attract, innit? - No, no. I think it's brilliant. 338 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,800 Half the town's seen your girl's jigglers and you're okay with it. 339 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,160 - What the fuck? - Ha! 340 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,200 You either shut your gob or you're getting married with a shiner. 341 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,560 See? Love, wonderful. [cackles] 342 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:02,640 [mutters] Here we go. 343 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,120 Let me ask you a question. Have you ever had a threesome? 344 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:09,600 - No. - Lying, straight away. 345 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:12,400 Straight away, you fucking handsome liar. 346 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:16,120 Dude, everyone's having really sexy, tropical sexy time. 347 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,960 I'm just fucking wanking in the deep dark… 348 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,840 I bet he's had a bloody threesome, hasn't he? 349 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,160 - Ash. Yeah. Well, yeah. No. Yeah. - What's this? 350 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,000 Threesomes. Dill's saying you had one. 351 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:25,160 - We did. - Hey? 352 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,040 You were inside. I'm surprised you told him. 353 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,520 I didn't fucking tell him. 354 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,680 What the f… What the actual fuck? 355 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,000 No, we were… We… Hey! We were off our faces. 356 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,320 Yeah, yeah. It was just messing. 357 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,400 Weird. 358 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,840 Get me a fucking crunchie. 359 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,761 - It did happen, though. - What? It didn't fucking happen. 360 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,160 I just can't believe it. 361 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:51,120 - Hey! Don't show him fucking that! - Don't show… Fuck, man! Put it away! 362 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,720 ["Written In Your Hair" playing] 363 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,160 [retching] 364 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,200 That there is motion sickness, like. 365 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:03,800 We can't travel there in the back. 366 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,680 There's only one seat in the front with me. 367 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,200 So one of you can go with Vincent. 368 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,840 Oi, Cardi, come and jump in back with me and our Ashley. 369 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:11,040 Can have a lie down, love. 370 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,240 Has anyone got any food? I'm fucking starving now. 371 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:15,720 Not to freak anyone out there, 372 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,320 but when we pulled up, that car pulled up and no one's got out, 373 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,280 and now we're setting off, they're setting off. 374 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,560 Shit, you don't think it's McCann's men, do you? 375 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,280 Why the fuck would it be McCann's men? 376 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:25,360 "Why McCann's men?" 377 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,400 We got him sent down. He's being sentenced today. 378 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,960 Shit. 379 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,640 See if they follow. 380 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,200 ["Cannonball" playing] 381 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,960 - Shit. They're following. - Shit. Bollocks. 382 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,240 We wanna to be certain. Take the next exit there. 383 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,440 Can't, dude. We'll fucking lose Tommo, won't we? 384 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:50,760 - Fuck Tommo. Why did I swap cars? - Take the next left, please. 385 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:52,880 Are they still following? 386 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:54,080 Er… no. 387 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,800 Oh, shit! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 388 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:57,080 - They're following. - Fucker! 389 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,200 I don't wanna die! I should've stayed with Carol. 390 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,080 They're coming up pretty fucking fast now. 391 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,800 - Go faster than they are. - Go, go, go. 392 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,680 What do think… What do you think I'm tryna do? 393 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,359 - It only goes so fast. - Vin, Vin. I'm too young to die! 394 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,000 You're not gonna die, Cardi. 395 00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:11,440 Last time you said that, someone got their head chopped off! 396 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,160 At least you've had a fucking threesome. 397 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,680 - [grunting] - Oh, fuck! We're being rammed. 398 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,520 - Why are they ramming? - They're ramming. 399 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,640 - [grunting] - Let's just… Let's just stop the car. 400 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,040 Slow down and… and fucking reason with 'em. 401 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:30,040 Oh, that's a fucking fantastic idea. 402 00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:33,160 Let's just stop the car and reason with the men 403 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,480 who are trying to ram us off the fucking road. 404 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:36,680 - Shit! - Fucking hell! 405 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,720 - Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - Wait! Hey, move! 406 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,320 [all screaming] 407 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,720 [Dylan] No! No! No! There's a sign! It's closed! 408 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,760 They're never doing any fucking work. I'm gonna get us through there. 409 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,280 Hey! Hey! Hey! 410 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,200 - [all screaming] - [tyres screech] 411 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,560 Fucking hell! Ooh! 412 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,560 - [horn toots] - [clattering] 413 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,200 [Vinnie] We'll have to go through the back. Fuck me. 414 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:08,520 Davey, what the fuck, man? The fuck are you playing at, eh? 415 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,720 - You nearly killed us there. - We were just having some fun, Vincent. 416 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,920 - Why are you following us? - Following ya? 417 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,960 What a vivid imagination you have, Vincent. 418 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,400 We were just on our way to a wedding. Pure coincidence. 419 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,200 Not Ringo and Babs, huh? 420 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,440 Yes. Ringo's an old pal of mine. You going too? 421 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,720 We fucking were. Yes, we were. 422 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,920 Should be a nice bash. Maybe see you down there, boys. 423 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,280 Come and help us… No, no, no! 424 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,560 Hey! Come pull us out, man. Behave yourself. 425 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,400 Sorry. Long journey ahead. 426 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,320 Oh, by the way, Vincent. 427 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,160 I do hope your weed grow is safe while you're away. 428 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:47,320 Because you know what they say, "finders keepers". 429 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,600 - What's he on about? - They're trying to nick the weed. 430 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,000 Don't nick… Don't nick the weed. 431 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,440 - What you doing? - Wishing them well. 432 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:54,760 The fuck? Don't wave at him. 433 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,240 [Cardi] Dylan, I would check the carburettor. 434 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:00,200 Fuck. 435 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:04,400 No signal. 436 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,040 We're gonna have to push this car, lads. 437 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:07,400 Right, you get on that end. 438 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,640 - Me and Cardi will pull. Ready? - Yeah. 439 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,000 One, two, three, go. 440 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,840 [grunting] 441 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:17,400 Dude, there's just no way we're getting out of here without a tow. 442 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,880 - You slapper. Fuck! - This is farming land, yeah? 443 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,440 Logic dictates there's gotta be a farm around here somewhere. 444 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,880 So we'll just have to find one and see if they can pull us out. 445 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,280 That's not a bad idea. Come on, then. 446 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:30,800 - Let's go find a fucking farmer. - Cardi. Come on, love. 447 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,920 ["Madness" playing] 448 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:37,680 [Tommo] Now then, Barbara. 449 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:42,800 In my experience, right, a trucker is a very randy breed of man. 450 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,960 So, what I'm pitching to you, sweetheart, is this. 451 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,840 We use our time here wisely, you choose one you like the look of, 452 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,800 and we get this whole one last fling idea put to bed once and for all. 453 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,960 - How's about that? - But they're all fat, Tommo. And old. 454 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,800 I want a skinny man. 455 00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,240 I know, sweetheart, but, er, beggars can't be choosers, can they? 456 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,000 So what about this chap here in the hi-vis? 457 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,320 Ey? What about him? Lovely chap, shiny head... 458 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,720 He looks like my Uncle Alwyn. 459 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,160 I'm not having my last new penis be a sweaty trucker, Tommo. 460 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,720 They probably never wash. 461 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,640 It'll be like a cheese factory down there. 462 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,480 I do have taste, love. Standards. 463 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,360 Thank you very much, Vincent. Thank you very much. 464 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,000 - [Vinnie] Dickhead. - [Ash laughing] 465 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,640 [Vinnie] Oh, fuck! 466 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,360 Lost my fucking shoe there. Help me find it. 467 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,680 Send them a message. Tell them we're cracking on 468 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,600 and they'll have to meet us there. Sugar. 469 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,000 I don't like this. 470 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,200 My Cardi would never switch his phone off. 471 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,280 - Yeah, but what else can we do? - I don't know. 472 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,720 But he's gonna be lost without his mammy. 473 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,760 He's like a small boy needing the nipple. 474 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,960 A soft, ample breast of affection. 475 00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:00,800 Hiya, love. What's your name? 476 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,560 - Leo. - Hiya, Leo. 477 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,920 - Your daddy's very handsome. - [chuckles] 478 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,800 - Really sorry. Come on, then. - Get off! 479 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,840 I bet, since you arrived, 480 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:17,040 you've stopped all your daddy's fun. 481 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:20,360 And I bet your daddy hasn't had 482 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,200 any bouncy bounce in a long, long time. 483 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,040 Hey, lady! 484 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:27,120 If I could just borrow your daddy, would that be... 485 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,520 - We're really sorry about this. - Get off! 486 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,080 Who the hell are you? 487 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,240 Oh, you've got a lovely husband. Five minutes. 488 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,000 Five minutes, let me go! [screams] 489 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,080 [sombre music playing] 490 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,000 - [echoing] Cut his dick off. - No! No! No! No! 491 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,480 It's McCann's sentencing today. 492 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,560 I'm fucking shitting myself. 493 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,400 If he don't get sent down, he'll come for us, you know. 494 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:07,920 Might have to come and live out here. 495 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,200 Dickhead. 496 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,200 Come on. They've got him on five counts. Surely a couple must stick. 497 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,360 What's that noise? 498 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,320 [vehicle approaching] 499 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:23,640 [horn toots] 500 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,640 - All right. - How's it going? 501 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,280 Stop you there. Where's he going? What's he doing? 502 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,160 Just hang on. Hang on. 503 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,800 So sorry, mate. 504 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,840 So sorry. I'm so sorry to stop you like this. 505 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,496 - Just turn off the... - [engine revving] 506 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,880 Turn it off with the screwdriver, why not? 507 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,720 Listen, we've got ourselves in a right jam. 508 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:43,400 We got stuck in a bridge, you see. 509 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,280 We're looking for a farm, so that maybe a tractor, 510 00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:48,680 a bit of a tow situation going on. You know what I mean? 511 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,680 Can you tell us where the farm is, please? 512 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,040 Well, as it happens, gentlemen… 513 00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:56,080 this is your lucky day… 514 00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,760 because I live up at the old farmhouse. 515 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:03,720 That's amazing. Thank God for that. Have you got a tractor? 516 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,000 [hesitantly] Yes. 517 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:10,280 Could you help pull us out with said tractor, do you think? 518 00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:11,680 I can… 519 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:14,160 on two conditions. 520 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,200 You must remove your shoes before entering my vehicle, 521 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,440 and two, I have a small job to attend. 522 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:22,800 Okay. I'm just... 523 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:28,280 Just out of interest, I just wonder how long that's gonna take, that job? 524 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:30,560 No more than 11 minutes. 525 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,680 Outstanding. Guys, get in the car. 526 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,960 - [Cardi] Can I go in front? - No! 527 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,520 Knobhead. 528 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,480 Man, thanks for picking us up. My name's Vinnie. 529 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,040 - That's Dylan… - 'Ey up, man. 530 00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:43,600 Ashley, and that's Cardi. 531 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:44,960 Hiya. 532 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:48,280 I'm Eric, Eric Nosh. 533 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:53,160 Don't worry. I've heard all the jokes. 534 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,840 [chuckling] Blowjob jokes your whole life. 535 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:56,920 - What? - [snorts] 536 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,640 No… food. 537 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,560 Oh, right, yeah. Okay, sorry. 538 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,520 - Ah-ha! - [handbrake cranks] 539 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,600 Here's my little friend. 540 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:09,920 [Dylan] What's he doing? 541 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,760 He's got an imaginary friend, this man. 542 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,480 [Cardi] I hope he's not a serial killer. 543 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:15,240 Serial killers don't wear crocs, man. 544 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,920 That's not the fashion of a serial killer. 545 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,280 - There it is. Dead fox. - Still quite fresh. 546 00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:32,680 Have you all eaten? 547 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:36,480 [boot squeaks, thuds] 548 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:37,800 [groans] 549 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,160 [slasher music playing] 550 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,600 Hey, Cardi, stop freaking out. You've watched too many movies. 551 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,160 What if he comes back with an axe? 552 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,160 He's an old man. We could overpower him easy. 553 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,920 - Not if he's got a gun. - He had a fucking axe a second ago. 554 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,160 What if he's got both? What if these teas are drugged? 555 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,800 - You've eaten enough biscuits? - Hey, hey, oi! 556 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,160 Give over now. He's just a bloke 557 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:04,440 who's gonna put his fucking boots on and give us a tow. 558 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,400 - Yeah, a human toe. - [Eric] Right, then. 559 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:09,760 That's the footwear situation amended. How's the tea? 560 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,200 - Good. - Fantastic. 561 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:12,960 I brought you these. 562 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,360 That's good of ya. 563 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:18,600 [clears throat] 564 00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,120 - It's a croc and a pink sock. - Yeah. 565 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:22,680 [clears throat] 566 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,200 Just admiring your stu… your stuffed animal. 567 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:26,640 Do you do a bit of taxidermy? 568 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:31,840 Yes, it's a hobby of mine. Hence the fox. 569 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:35,520 Ah, he doesn't eat them. You don't eat roadkill, do ya? 570 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:37,800 Absolutely, I eat them. 571 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:39,120 - You eat them? - Yeah. 572 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,120 Follow me. 573 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,040 A barn owl, that's a lovely bird. 574 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,600 Sparrow hawk. That one flew into the window. 575 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,360 Hedgehog… surprisingly nutty. 576 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,600 Polecat, odd spongy texture. Ugh! 577 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,880 Look at that… deer. 578 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,280 Testes and his penis. 579 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:01,360 Can you eat a penis, can you? 580 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,520 - You can eat penis, certainly. - Right. 581 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:06,480 Tends to be a tad grisly, but we persevere. 582 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:08,120 Good on ya. [clears throat] 583 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,560 So, as you can see, 584 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,600 we shagged the fucking thing into a bridge. 585 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:19,920 You've got yourselves in a fix. 586 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:22,560 Yes, we do. Could you unfix us, please? 587 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,440 Attach this to your van. Not the bumper. 588 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,120 Obviously. You know what I mean. 589 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,200 He thinks were a bunch of lemonheads, this lad. 590 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,200 Look at this now. Bumper straight away. 591 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,760 What you doing there, you? That's the fucking bumper. 592 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,400 Give it to me. You're overtired. 593 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:39,880 Yeah, that'll do it. 594 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,000 - Oh, fuck a duck. - What? 595 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,080 Fuck me. Look at the state of that. 596 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:51,920 I assume you have yourselves a spare. 597 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,080 - No. - I do have a friend. 598 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:56,920 Human or animal? 599 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,400 Very human. Walter. 600 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:03,640 He runs a garage, but it's, er, several miles away, I'm afraid. 601 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:05,720 Right. How long do you think it'd take our Walter 602 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,760 to get here with a spare? 603 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:12,080 He usually takes a nap around this time, as he only has one leg. 604 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,560 - Of course he does. - Best course of action, 605 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:18,120 come back to mine, spot of dinner while we wait. 606 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,480 - Yes? - Yes. 607 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:21,600 - Shit. - What? Why? 608 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,360 I don't know why I said it, I panicked. I just panicked, guys. 609 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,240 Fuck me. Just get in the back of the trailer. 610 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:29,320 [Babs] You'd love it if I was a stranger and I was coming on to you. 611 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,680 - He'd think you were a tart. - A tart, is it? Stripper. 612 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,560 Yes, tart it is. And it's ex-stripper. 613 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:34,920 - Twat. - Twat, is it? 614 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,840 Yes, twat. Welsh tart. 615 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,120 - [Babs] Let's be having it! - Fucking stop it! Stop it! 616 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,040 [horn blares, tyres screech] 617 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,640 [siren blares] 618 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:45,920 Oh, cops! 619 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,200 Oh, hey-aw! Oh, yeah, that's bad. 620 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,360 You just please tell me that you are taxed and insured. 621 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,400 - Er, not exactly, no. - Meaning? 622 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:57,120 - Er, not at all. - [handbrake cranks, siren blaring] 623 00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,080 I told you so many fucking times. You need to be taxed and insured! 624 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,560 Will one of you please just swap places with me, 625 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,120 because as it happens, I also don't have a driver's licence. 626 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:07,280 [groans] 627 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:09,080 Leave this to me. 628 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,520 There's not a cop in the world that can resist Irish charm. 629 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,360 What seems to be the officer, problem? 630 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,520 - This your vehicle, madam? - It's not, actually, no. 631 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:23,360 We borrowed it off a friend, because this lady here 632 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,920 is getting married tomorrow in Meredith Tydil, 633 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,760 and we have to get there as a matter of great urgency. 634 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,640 - Love your uniform. - Thanks. 635 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:34,800 I used to go to places like that. People dressing up as doctors, cops. 636 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,880 - Firemen were my faves. - Right. 637 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,200 Out of the vehicle, please. All of you. 638 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,200 - Open the back, please. - All right. 639 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:53,840 What we got going on in here? 640 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,400 - It's a mobile erotic parlour, in't it? - You making pornography? 641 00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,400 No, no, no! Nothing like that, sweetheart. 642 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,480 No, no, no, no. I have done the porn, Eager Beavers 23. 643 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,400 Very successful series, it was too. 644 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:06,600 It went downhill after, I'd say, Eager Beavers 29. 645 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,000 But very popular out there. 646 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,320 - Very, very popular. - Shut up. 647 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:11,240 I assume this is in no way an illegal endeavour? 648 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:12,400 Absolutely not. 649 00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:15,040 Jesus! Oi! 650 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:17,240 Wait here. Oi! 651 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,720 What the fuck did she do that for? 652 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,160 Right, fuck this. Let's get off, let's get off. 653 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,000 Go on, get in, get in the van! 654 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:37,120 Look, this is getting fucking stupid, this is. 655 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,560 For crying out loud, we've been here bloody hours now. 656 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,320 If I don't get to that caravan park by tomorrow, 657 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,400 she could've bloody gone. Do you know what I mean? 658 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:45,880 I don't think he rang anyone. 659 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:47,560 I don't think there is a Walter. 660 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:49,520 Just give over with that, Cardi. 661 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,400 - I wish my wife Carol was here. - Wife Carol. 662 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:52,480 You're with your mates! 663 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,600 Yeah, I am, and I'm stuck outside a farmhouse 664 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:57,360 in the middle of fucking nowhere, waiting for a one-legged mechanic 665 00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,720 with a weirdo that eats f-fox bollocks! 666 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,360 Oi. You're working yourself up, dude. He doesn't eat fox bol… 667 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:03,880 Oh, fucking hell! 668 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:06,240 You all right? 669 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:09,000 Dinner almost ready, gentlemen. 670 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:10,840 If you'd like to wash your hands. 671 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:12,360 Here we go. 672 00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:15,080 Delicious. 673 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:20,200 I'm really sorry to ask this, but is your friend gonna be much... 674 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,640 - Is he gonna be much longer or… - Shouldn't be. 675 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,920 I asked him to bring back one or two items he'd borrowed, 676 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,360 so he may be gathering those. 677 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:30,560 Right, then. 678 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,680 Potatoes, broccoli, carrots and… 679 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:36,480 Fox stew. 680 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:42,320 The intestines are chargrilled with garlic and onion. 681 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:45,800 Chopped chervil, star anise, pine nuts. 682 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:50,680 Have you been doing this long, then, the eating of the roadkill? 683 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,640 Only since my girlfriend left. 684 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:56,560 D… Didn't eat her, did you? [chuckles nervously] 685 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,080 No. You three get started. 686 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,601 - I've saved the best part for you. - I can see that. What's going on? 687 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:09,080 - The head. - Ooh, ooh. [nervous chuckle] 688 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,360 [confused grunting] 689 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:14,240 I… I'm not a… It's… 690 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,200 I'm just not a big eater. Never have been. 691 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,600 Cardi, fucking hell. Give him an 'ead. 692 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,560 No, no. I just smoke. 693 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:29,080 Nonsense. 694 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:31,760 Get stuck in there, Vin. Yum, yum. 695 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:40,760 If you cut straight in here, you can get to the brains. 696 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:42,400 - [pleadingly] Why? - Delicacy. 697 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:43,960 - Is it? - Trouble is, 698 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,360 they sometimes liquify and bubble out. 699 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:47,440 [burps] 700 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,200 You know, I'm looking at this lad 'ere. 701 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,400 He… he's still gotten a tongue in there, ain't he? 702 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,640 - Don't you want it? - No. 703 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,000 That's the best bit. 704 00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,560 He's gonna eat it. In. In it goes. 705 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,880 - [retches] - Just straight in. 706 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:05,040 I've gotta tell you, this is the most mental fucking meal 707 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:06,880 I think I've ever experienced. 708 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,120 Thank you. 709 00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:11,760 I have… 710 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:16,280 eaten the tongues of almost every animal you can think of 711 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,120 and they all taste spectacular. 712 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:22,480 But they say the best by far… 713 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,600 - is human tongue. - [gags] 714 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,160 That's the one I'd really like to try. 715 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,480 - [knock on window] - Fucking hell! 716 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,600 - Oh. That'll be Walter. - [relieved sighs] 717 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,040 Handsome, isn't he? 718 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,240 ["Be Careful Where You Park Your Car" playing] 719 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:49,080 Right! Five minutes, regroup. My nerves are fucking frazzled. 720 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,720 Right. I'd just like to take a moment to assess where we are. 721 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,000 We've lost the bride of the wedding we are attending. 722 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,440 And half our party have gone AWOL in a Bedford Rascal. 723 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:04,160 We are, as the Welsh would say, "cachu hwch." 724 00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,640 - What does that mean? - Absolutely fucked up the arse, mate. 725 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:09,720 - Do you think we should call her? - [all] No! 726 00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:10,680 No. We're not calling. 727 00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:14,440 If she's being nicked and we call her, then the police get our number. 728 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,680 Before you know it, they're sweeping in, arresting us, 729 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:18,880 before we've had a chance to finish our fucking pints. 730 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:20,880 All right, so what we gonna do? 731 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,880 Well, thank you for asking, JJ. Snippy. [sniffs] 732 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:25,240 Right, three options. 733 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:26,960 Option A… [clears throat] 734 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:29,440 We sack it all off. 735 00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:32,920 We fuck off home on the train and I come back up later, 736 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,240 when the heat has died down, to collect the truck. 737 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,680 Option B, we call Ringo, explain what's happened 738 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,640 and let the chips fall whither they may. 739 00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,000 - I don't like that one. - Same. 740 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,120 - And three? - Well, it's C, in't it? 741 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,160 It's A, B, C. It's not A, B, fucking three. Jesus. 742 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,520 - Fucking C, then. - You know what she means. 743 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,720 All right, C. And this one happens to be my preferred option. 744 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:54,920 We get another round of drinks in, snort a few trunkie lines of Gak... 745 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,440 - What? - Let the good times roll, 746 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,440 knees up mother brown and fuck it all off till tomorrow. 747 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,520 [all cheering] 748 00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:06,600 - Fuck. There's no fucking tyre. - What's he handing to him? 749 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,360 - Oh, dude, that's a… that's a… - An industrial tree cutter. 750 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,080 - They're gonna eat us. - No, no. 751 00:34:11,159 --> 00:34:14,120 There's four of us and two of them and there's one of them has a peg leg. 752 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:17,080 - Fucking hell! - Oh, fuck me! 753 00:34:17,159 --> 00:34:19,600 All right, that's terrifying. Listen, listen, listen. 754 00:34:19,679 --> 00:34:21,719 All right, it's like fucking Deliverance. 755 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,280 We've got to get out of here right the fuck now. 756 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,400 - What we do? - Er… Back way. 757 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,600 - Back way. - We'll go the back way, then. 758 00:34:28,679 --> 00:34:31,000 Fuck. It's fucking locked. 759 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,719 Bollocks! Kick it down! You need to kick it! 760 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:35,679 - [door crashes] - [Vinnie laughs] 761 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,480 Dude, he's lost his shoe. Dude, get out of the fucking way. 762 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:44,040 - Oh, dude, check all this shit out. - [Cardi] What the fuck? 763 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:47,960 Go, go, go, go, go. Where the fuck's Cardi? 764 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:49,520 - Back in. Cardi. Cardi! - Puffins! 765 00:34:49,639 --> 00:34:52,800 Put it down. Get the fuck out of here, man. 766 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:53,880 Come on! 767 00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:58,240 ["New Rose" playing] 768 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,520 - Wait! Look! - [Vinnie] What? Oh! 769 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,920 Get on the bike. Get on the bike. Has it got keys? 770 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,520 [all shouting indistinctly] 771 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,200 [engine revs] 772 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:12,960 What on earth? 773 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,800 Hey! Stop! Thieves! 774 00:35:17,720 --> 00:35:21,160 - [Ash] Wait, what about the Rascal? - [Vinnie] We'll get it on the way back. 775 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,280 [Dylan] Oh, stop the bike. Got a signal. 776 00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:38,600 Well in, gentlemen! Well in. Fuck me! 777 00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:40,840 Fix-a-flat liquid. Maybe he was gonna fix the tyre. 778 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:42,720 About fucking time, some signal. 779 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:44,480 Right, get in touch with the others, yeah? 780 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,120 Find out where the fuck they are. Get a sat-nav as well. 781 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:49,600 For crying out loud, we're not fucking around now, all right? 782 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,480 We're going straight to fucking Wales. 783 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:54,920 Piss farting around. Here, I've got a voice note here, off Ringo. 784 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,240 All right, Vin? Got a message from Babs. 785 00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,200 Saying she can't make the wedding, 786 00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,520 and you and Tommo are to blame. 787 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:04,160 For fuck sake, man! Listen, 788 00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:06,880 if she's not there tomorrow, I'll get the MacDonaghs to cut 789 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,560 your fucking balls off, you daft twat. 790 00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,520 Capisce? You piece of shit. 791 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:13,720 Fuck! 792 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,600 - [glass smashing] - [Vinnie] One fucking job! 793 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,240 To get fucking Babs to Wales, that was it! 794 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:21,640 Why did she hit a copper? 795 00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:24,120 - Why? Why? - Because she's a crazy fucking bitch! 796 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:27,200 Sweetheart, that's why, and now she's in some fucking jail cell somewhere 797 00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:30,120 and frankly, good fucking riddance. 798 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,160 It's not good riddance, it's bad! 799 00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:34,320 Fucking MacDonaghs are gonna cut our dicks off. 800 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:38,880 What's all this shit, dude? Why you fucking partying, pizza everywhere? 801 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:40,200 Honestly, dude. 802 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,240 The only reason I'm doing this 803 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:46,360 is because I wanna find Erin and my boy, you know? 804 00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:50,440 The last thing I wanna do is run around the Welsh countryside 805 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,880 looking for a fucking orange nymphomaniac. 806 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,480 I know, I know. I'm sorry. 807 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,680 Come here, sweetheart, come here. 808 00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:00,320 - That's it. It's all right, baby. - [trills lips] 809 00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:01,400 - Hey. - Hmm? 810 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:03,120 - Tell me this, though, right. - Hmm? 811 00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:07,360 If we were fucking now, in here, would that not be very kinky? 812 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:09,520 Yeah? 813 00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:11,040 You ruin things, dude. 814 00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,040 - [clamouring] - [car horn beeping] 815 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:14,600 Oh, fuck me. Hey, hey! 816 00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:17,760 - What's going on? - McCann got life! 817 00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:21,120 Fucking life, Vin. Guilty on all charges. 818 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,320 It's over! It's fucking over! 819 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,080 [cheering, laughing] 820 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:29,160 ["Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In" playing] 821 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,480 [chanting] 822 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,080 [music fades] 823 00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:48,760 [snoring] 824 00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:50,040 [Ash] Feels good, doesn't it? 825 00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:52,720 Just freedom. Back to the way we were. 826 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,560 Honestly, I miss Cardi, though. 827 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,880 My best mate, and now just... 828 00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,280 Hey, he's still your best mate, Ash. 829 00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:03,040 Yeah. My sister stole him away from me, though. 830 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:06,120 Isn't that mad? 831 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,880 My own sister stole my best mate away from me. 832 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,440 [tuts] Give over. 833 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,040 Look, it happens, man. 834 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,400 People fall for one another. It's what happens. 835 00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,680 We can't help but think about them all the time. 836 00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:21,080 They're the only person you want to be with. 837 00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,480 But that doesn't mean he doesn't love his mate, you know. 838 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:24,960 - He needs ya. - Yeah? 839 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,680 - Definitely. - Hmm, definitely. 840 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:30,040 What time is it? 841 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:33,440 Oh, fuck me. 842 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:35,840 There's no point. 843 00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:39,320 I'm never gonna fall asleep. [groans] 844 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:42,560 It's been nice partying about the McCann thing, but fuck me, dude, 845 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,040 I want to get to that trailer park. 846 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:46,520 Well, go, then. 847 00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:49,640 I swear to God. Whinging about it. Just go. 848 00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:53,120 Jump on that fucking motorcycle out there and go immediately. 849 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,696 - But Babs and... - We'll sort Babs out. 850 00:38:54,720 --> 00:38:56,000 Don't worry about that. Just go. 851 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,000 I'm only gonna say it once. Just go, will you? 852 00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:00,800 All right, man. Give us me coat. 853 00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,280 Try not slam that door, will you? 854 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:03,720 - [shouts] You what? - [door slams] 855 00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:04,960 Don't slam the… 856 00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:14,320 ♪ I would have given you all of my heart ♪ 857 00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:18,840 ♪ But there's someone Who's torn it apart ♪ 858 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:22,320 ♪ Baby, I'll try to love again ♪ 859 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,880 ♪ But I know ♪ 860 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,160 ♪ The first cut is the deepest ♪ 861 00:39:31,240 --> 00:39:33,600 ♪ Baby, I know ♪ 862 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:37,040 ♪ The first cut is the deepest ♪ 863 00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:41,320 ♪ 'Cause when it comes To being lucky, he's cursed ♪ 864 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,080 ♪ That's how I know… ♪ 865 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:50,520 - [chain rattling] - [mutters] Son of a bitch. 866 00:39:52,720 --> 00:39:55,880 Dude, I'm really sorry to bother you, man. 867 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,680 Could you just quickly switch the pumps on for me, like a goodun? 868 00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,120 Not open till 10:00. 869 00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,680 Oh, fucking hell, man. You could be a fucking hero. 870 00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:04,520 Stop sweeping the floor and come over to me. 871 00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:10,680 Comes a time in every man's life where he has to step up, 872 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,880 and turn the pumps on before they're due. 873 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:15,600 Not open till 10:00. 874 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:18,320 Dude, you're a fucking arsehole, and you're a turd. 875 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,320 You're a turd and a dickhead. Oh, wow. 876 00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:23,240 I'm taking this bike. 877 00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:25,520 I'm gonna take your bike. 878 00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:28,536 - You've brought this on yourself. - [chain jangling] 879 00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,520 Shouldn't have put a padlock outside like a Rita. 880 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,520 - See you later. - Oi, get back here! 881 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,880 ["The First Cut Is the Deepest" resumes playing] 882 00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:46,360 That's smart. Ready? 883 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:47,720 - Yeah. - Let's go. 884 00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:49,160 - Thank you, Annie. - See ya. 885 00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:52,480 Just let me do the talking. Just let me do the talking. 886 00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:53,600 Fucking hell. 887 00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:58,280 [clears throat] I called earlier. I'm looking for Barbara Speed! 888 00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,880 [in posh accent] We're her solicitors and I want to tell you, 889 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,600 she's been the victim of overzealous policing… 890 00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:07,520 [louder] and she should not be here cage-ed… like a common criminal. 891 00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,440 We released her 30 minutes ago with a warning. 892 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,360 - [in normal voice] Righto. - Good. 893 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:12,520 As well you should. 894 00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,400 It's his first day. 895 00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:20,880 ["Just Like Honey" playing] 896 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,120 [gulls squawking] 897 00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:29,680 ♪ Listen to the girl ♪ 898 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:33,480 ♪ As she takes on half the world ♪ 899 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:37,240 ♪ Moving up and so alive… ♪ 900 00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,336 - What are you doing? - Digging a hole with a stick. 901 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:40,800 Digging a hole with a stick. 902 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,160 Here. I nicked that. Do you want it? 903 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:47,480 Don't fall off. Don't tell anyone where you got it. 904 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,840 You all right, love? Sorry to bother you. 905 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:52,280 Erin Croft, I'm looking for her. 906 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:54,480 She's got a little lad called Tyler. Is she around? 907 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,480 She's in number 35 down the bottom. 908 00:41:57,560 --> 00:42:00,360 Thank God for that. You are a bloody angel. 909 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:04,520 - Or she was. Think she's moving on. - Oh, fuck me. 910 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:08,800 Erin? 911 00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:16,720 Erin? 912 00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:22,000 [melancholic music playing] 913 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:25,720 Erin, if you're in there and you can hear me, 914 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:28,760 I'm fucking sorry I've come. I just… 915 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:35,320 I didn't know what to do. I… I love you and I love Tyler, and… 916 00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:39,160 McCann's gone. 917 00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:42,040 He's been sent down, 918 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,760 so you don't have to worry about all them threats he was making. 919 00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:47,480 He's gone… for a long time. 920 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:55,760 You took my boy away from me… 921 00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:00,520 without saying goodbye. 922 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:06,760 Another ten minutes and I'd… I'd have been gone. 923 00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:11,280 Where's Tyler? 924 00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:14,520 He's just saying goodbye to a few of his mates. 925 00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:19,200 So he's… he's definitely gone down, McCann? 926 00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:21,720 Yeah. Life sentence. He's gone. 927 00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:24,680 Thank God. 928 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,040 [Vinnie chuckling] 929 00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:27,400 - Vin? - Hmm? 930 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,200 I'm planning on a new life, away from Hawley. 931 00:43:31,240 --> 00:43:34,280 No, you don't have to now, if you don't want. 932 00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:37,120 You're safe now. He's gone. 933 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,600 You know I fucking love you and I love that boy. 934 00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:42,280 I need you near me. 935 00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:46,440 Can't just run away from your friends. You've got a life there. 936 00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,440 - Have I? - Yeah. 937 00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:55,720 Look, I know… I know you wanna go. 938 00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:57,880 I know you wanna leave one day. 939 00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:07,520 Maybe just come back for a little bit. 940 00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:29,440 ["Don't Look Back Into the Sun" playing] 941 00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:33,080 [laughing, indistinct conversation] 942 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,240 ♪ Yow! ♪ 943 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:51,320 ♪ Don't look back into the sun ♪ 944 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,960 ♪ Now you know that the time is come ♪ 945 00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,920 ♪ And they said It would never come for you ♪ 946 00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:59,960 ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ 947 00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,800 ♪ Oh, my friend, you haven't changed ♪ 948 00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:04,880 ♪ You're looking rough And living strange ♪ 949 00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:06,680 ♪ And I know… ♪ 950 00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:08,880 I love him so much. 951 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:11,320 I am never cheating on him again. 952 00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:15,840 I just want to be in Ringo's arms and never, ever let go. 953 00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:19,160 Yeah, and maybe, er, lay off the prawn cocktail as well, eh? 954 00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:20,440 [all jeer] 955 00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:22,680 - [Babs] It was shrimp! - [laughter] 956 00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:30,360 [music continues] 957 00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:43,400 Hey up, guys! Look who it is! 958 00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:44,800 [cheering] 959 00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:52,440 - Where is he? - Come here! 960 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:56,240 - Hey. - Hey. 961 00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:57,440 Fucking hell, I missed you. 962 00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,120 - Come here. Good to see ya. - There you are! 963 00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,800 Good to see you. Aw, little man. 964 00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:06,480 ♪ And I need you now tonight ♪ 965 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:07,920 ♪ And I need you more than ever… ♪ 966 00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:09,960 I love you so much. 967 00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:14,040 [Babs screaming and moaning] 968 00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:19,200 ♪ And we'll only be making it right ♪ 969 00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:21,760 ♪ 'Cause we'll never be wrong ♪ 970 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:25,880 ♪ Together we can take it To the end of the line ♪ 971 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,040 ♪ Your love is like a shadow On me all of the time… ♪ 972 00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:30,320 You made it then, Vincent. 973 00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:32,760 Jesus, you fucking ruin everything. 974 00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:36,800 I know, love. Great news about McCann. 975 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:38,520 Yeah, it is, actually. 976 00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,360 You're now free to sell your weed without fear or torment. 977 00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:43,600 Good for you, Vincent, good for you. 978 00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:46,800 Just so long as no one finds out 979 00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:50,000 your new grow is in the basement of the Rat and Cutter. 980 00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:54,440 ♪ Woo-hoo! That's right ♪ 981 00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:57,800 - Oh! Now, Davey… - Too late, Vincent. 982 00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:00,480 - What the fuck are you… Shit! - It's all mine now. 983 00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:03,240 Now, now, let's not spoil the occasion. 984 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:04,320 Yeah. 985 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:06,320 We'll talk next week. 986 00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,760 I've actually got a little proposal for you. 987 00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,040 I can give you the answer now, lads. It's a no. 988 00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,720 We'll see, sweetheart. [chuckles] 989 00:47:16,240 --> 00:47:17,760 - We'll see. - Hmm. 990 00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:20,640 You've got a right set of wanking spanners on you, Bazz. 991 00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:24,440 Fucking palm full of dicks. 992 00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:27,400 ♪ We'll be holding on forever ♪ 993 00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:32,360 ♪ And we'll only be making it right 'Cause we'll never be wrong… ♪ 994 00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:33,600 [whispers] Fuck! 995 00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:36,400 ♪ Together we can take it To the end of the line ♪ 996 00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:41,000 Get a winning dog, win thousands. 997 00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:42,640 [Dan] Say hello to Arson Fire. 998 00:47:42,720 --> 00:47:44,880 [screaming, yelling] 999 00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:46,880 That's not good. 1000 00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:50,360 Please tell me you're not getting involved with the MacDonaghs. 1001 00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:51,760 Towels off. 1002 00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:53,720 - [Vinnie] The dog found it. - That's severed. 1003 00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:55,520 Say hello to my little friend. 1004 00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:57,640 [slurring] It's my birthday! 1005 00:47:57,720 --> 00:48:01,160 Trapped in an undertaker's freezer. Don't panic. 1006 00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:02,760 [screaming] 1007 00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:03,840 [grunts] 1008 00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:05,880 ♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind ♪ 1009 00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,640 ♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind ♪ 1010 00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:14,800 ♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind ♪ 1011 00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:18,000 ♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind ♪ 1012 00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:21,840 ♪ Give me the strength to carry on ♪ 1013 00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,040 ♪ Give me the strength to carry on ♪ 1014 00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:30,520 ♪ 'Cause everything I've got Is just about gone ♪